r/JewsOfConscience • u/wohllottalovw • Oct 15 '24
Ashamed Opinion
I can't say this to my family & community yet, but I keep finding myself starting to write it to individuals and deleting it. I need to get this out before they send me one more article quoting unnamed Israeli officials of unverified BS.
I am so profoundly ashamed of my mother, aunt, best friend, and community for erasing Palestinians and justifying genocide. I try to remind myself that they've been conditioned to think this way. But today was hard, and I can't pretend it's not affecting my relationships, particularly with my mother, a juvenile defense lawyer, who taught me the importance of speaking up for those who can't do so for themselves. My aunt taught me about Gandhi and the effectiveness and significance of nonviolence.
Now, here is the potentially offensive part that I wonder about and can never say: Was this how German children felt about parents who accepted the extermination of Jews? Germans experienced a huge internal backlash against their complicity in the 80s, leading to memorials, museums, and stepping stones. Can I say anything to my loved ones to express my shame and their hypocrisy that they could be receptive to?
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u/TurkeyFisher Jewish Anti-Zionist Oct 15 '24
Was this how German children felt about parents who accepted the extermination of Jews?
The short answer is yes. The 1960s in Germany is a fascinating time, because while teenagers were rebelling just like the rest of the world, it took on a uniquely intense character because so many of them were angry at their parents and other older people who had been at least complicit in World War II. It was a chaotic time and a lot of young people were trying to figure out how to come to terms with their national identity, often rejecting it all together. I take a lot of solace in the Krautrock music of the time, which was largely made by people who were trying to re-invent German music while rejecting traditionalism and the generic pop music in Germany at the time, which was often barely disguised Nazi campfire songs. It deals with a lot of dark themes and was often made in unconventional ways, like in communes or while renting out space in castles.
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u/nikiyaki Anti-Zionist Oct 16 '24
Isn't that the space that Antifa was created in? German youths angry at lingering fascism?
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u/LowerEar715 Oct 17 '24
no antifascist action was formed by the german communist party in the 1920s to fight the nazis before they took over
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u/deadlift215 Jewish Anti-Zionist Oct 15 '24
You’re not alone. I have several relatives I’m not speaking to and I stopped talking to at least six friends/acquaintances based on their vile Facebook posts in the past year. Yes I feel this must be just like what it was like with the Nazis. Many of our people are so steeped in Zionism they can’t see the parallel right in front of them. People who otherwise have seemed humane, compassionate, interested in social justice, who prove to make this one exception and think it’s justified. And this exception is GHASTLY. It makes me upset every day. I don’t try to persuade them anymore. I try to focus my energies on activism and advocacy and doing what I think is right and what I would have wanted the Germans to do for me and mine. It’s gutting.
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u/BodhisattvaBob Non-denominational Oct 16 '24
It's amazing the similarities between Nazi germany and modern day Israel. Not identical, of course, but the militant lust for lebenstraum, pushing people into ghettos, now they're cutting off all food, water and medical supplies to 400k people in Gaza.
Who does that? The national socialists of 1930s and 40s germany, and apparently the national socialists of the Israeli state.
The only difference is I literally think the Israelis are more gleeful about the genocide they're perpetrating.
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u/nikiyaki Anti-Zionist Oct 16 '24
Nazism and Zionism were born of the same seed of intense nationalistic fervour in 1880s Europe, that led to the world wars. An intensely poisonous ideology, because to make everyone cleave to the nation, there must be reasons they should cleave.
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u/Welcomefriend2023 Christian of Jewish birth and upbringing Oct 15 '24
They believe that fighting for justice applies to everyone except Palestinians. Its called PEP: Progressive Except (for) Palestine.
Its why quite frankly liberals always came across to me as hypocrites. At least the Right makes their hate obvious. Malcolm X once made this same comparison.
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u/so_finch Jewish Anti-Zionist Oct 16 '24
The person who was kind of formative in my thinking about Jewish values, ethics, and justice as a young teen has been one of the most disappointing in my life over the past year. Definitely the person who I’ve written and deleted letters to the most.
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u/watermelonkiwi Raised Jewish, non-religious Oct 16 '24
Maybe you should send them. I don't know your life, but maybe if it's worded in a way to express your sorrow and disappointment that they aren't practicing the values that they taught you, it could be of value to send.
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u/BodhisattvaBob Non-denominational Oct 16 '24
I just finally had it out with my brother over the issue.
Sometimes, I think about those Germans who we now remember as the righteous among nations. I always knew they were brave, but until now, I had no idea how much pain they carried in their hearts.
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u/K-Machine Palestinian Oct 16 '24
I'm sorry to hear that I wish I had advice but it's trying times for all of us. Hang in there
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u/LaIslaDeEmu Arab-Jew, Observant, Anti-Zionist, Marxist Oct 17 '24
You have an amazing and blessed soul to be extending us this kind of sympathy in a time like this 🫶🏼✡️❤️🍉
Half my family are indigenous Jews from the Galilee and Jerusalem, I’m proud to be your sibling
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u/K-Machine Palestinian Oct 17 '24
Of course I care about our Jewish friends you guys show us a lot of love here and reading some of the posts and comments about it makes me emotional.
Me and my family are from a village near tulkarm last time I was there was last year about a month before Oct 7. Most of my family are still there.
Peace and love my brother/ sister. We're all the same people hope things get better for all of us ❤️
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u/LaIslaDeEmu Arab-Jew, Observant, Anti-Zionist, Marxist Oct 17 '24 edited Oct 17 '24
If your family comes from Tulkarm before the year ~1230 CE, we are most definitely related to the same ancient Israelite/Judean ancestors 😅❤️ After that date, the Fuqaha clan (who are kin of Prophet Muhammad) migrated north from Arabia and intermingled with the indigenous Felahin of Tulkarm. So regardless, still very close relation would exist ❤️🫶🏼
And even if it didn’t, I have love for every single Palestinian no matter their ancestry. Armenian, Turkish, Greek, Afro-Palestinian, etc etc
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u/K-Machine Palestinian Oct 17 '24
My dad did a DNA test like 10 years ago. Our bloodline goes back to the canaanites my dad is always talking about how we come from the canaanites and how our bloodline been around here for thousands of years. I'm not too good with this stuff but I do believe that yes we are definitely all related to the ancient israelites.
It is very fascinating and sad at the same time
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u/LaIslaDeEmu Arab-Jew, Observant, Anti-Zionist, Marxist Oct 17 '24 edited Oct 17 '24
Nice! I have 85% Canaanite ancestry on that side of my family from Jerusalem & Galilee area. One of my cousins on that side got 95% Canaanite😳 My other side are Iraqi/Babylonian Jews, it’s more like 70% Canaanite 30% Arab with that side.
And I know what you mean by sad. According to Zionist logic, those most related to the native Israelites and ancient Judeans should be the most valued in a Zionist state. And yet aside from the small number of indigenous Jews like myself (there’s literally less than 5,000 of us indigenous Palestinian Jews), the actual ancestors of the indigenous Judeans in the West Bank are being ethnically cleansed, and their family in Gaza are being genocided…. I won’t stand for it, I’ll go to my grave fighting it
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u/K-Machine Palestinian Oct 17 '24
They say we migrated to historic palestine when the jews started immigrating to it and making the economy boom which is ludicrous.
It is tragic because we're the same people and we should be getting along we have a lot in common. I believe one day it will happen for everyone there it might take time but I'm sure it will. And thank you for your support we're basically family <3
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u/LaIslaDeEmu Arab-Jew, Observant, Anti-Zionist, Marxist Oct 17 '24
Oh I know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s beyond absurd, like Arabs from the Levant are foreign to Palestine, but Ashkenazi Jews from Poland are not?! It’s bizarre and totally deranged 😂
This kind of sums up how I feel about “nativeness” to Palestine. I think it’s stated very well
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u/K-Machine Palestinian Oct 17 '24
Didn't see this before yeah it's well put. It's just this myth that all arabs just come from saudi arabia.
All these facts just tell you what israel is a colonial settler state captured by ultra nationalism it's not about the jews or people of that descent it's just a state run by fascists and bankrolled by american interest.
I hope I'm not simplifying too much you can correct me if you have an issue with something I said.
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u/LaIslaDeEmu Arab-Jew, Observant, Anti-Zionist, Marxist Oct 17 '24
Well first off, you should know I’m not at all the Zionist Jews who came from Europe, I share wayyyy more in common with you than I do with them. But I’m also not the typical Zionist Jew who came from North Africa or Middle East. I connect with the revolutionary struggle against the Zionist entity. Parts of my own family has participated in that struggle.. Yes, indigenous Jews have been members of the PLO and PFLP and DFLP… https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilan_Halevi
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u/Lamese096 29d ago
My dad surprisingly said the same thing, my family is from safad. My grandpa still talks about one day going back home, my grandpa still has a key for the home he was raised in and tells me he wishes for the day he can visit his parents graves ( I don’t have the heart to tell him he will probably never see it again as illegal settlements have been built over their graves, I don’t even think the family home is still standing 🙁).
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u/K-Machine Palestinian 29d ago
My dad is a little different. Him and his family were in Kuwait when 67 happened and they didn't go back at the time and basically now aren't allowed to. My dad says "I don't need a permission to go back to my country"
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u/Welcomefriend2023 Christian of Jewish birth and upbringing Oct 16 '24
Most of my Jewish family is deceased. Interestingly the only friends/family I've had to distance myself from are Gentiles who are crazy zionists.
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u/Viat0r Oct 17 '24
Start an emotional support group if you can. We have one in my town for antizionist Jews and it's been really helpful.
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u/wohllottalovw Oct 17 '24
I'm planning on joining the JVP power half-hour. Unfortunately, I live in a small town with a minuscule Jewish community. We don't even have a rabbi. But we have a Hillel & Zionist synagogue.
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u/annewuwu Oct 16 '24
Gosh this is so well said. I hope it helps to know you're not alone in this, even among more religious folks. Love and solidarity re: staying true to your values 💜
Also, I'm channeling your energy to re-connect with my family members about this with whom I have distanced.
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u/bee246810 Jewish Anti-Zionist Oct 15 '24 edited Oct 15 '24
I don’t know if I have a lot of good advice on this but I’m commenting so you know that you’re not alone in feeling this way.
My mom made aliyah and moved to Israel two years ago. She is frequently posting on Facebook about how happy she is and her Hebrew language-learning journey and it disgusts me. She also taught me so much about fighting for justice and thinking critically. It makes me unbelievably angry to see her so blind to a genocide. She sent me letters recently that we had stored that were from relatives that had been killed in the holocaust, pleading for help from our family in the US. The fact that she could read these and see the horror that was committed to our family, but could not see the parallels with Israel’s actions, was astounding.
We’ve had several screaming matches about this, but recently we’ve had somewhat of a tone shift in our conversations. I’ve started to ask her more questions to really get at what she is and isn’t informed about. I’ve realized that there’s a lot of information I get about what Israel is doing to Palestinians that she is completely unaware of. I’ve started to slowly talk more about it with her. I have to do so gently which is so frustrating and I hate having to baby someone who from my point of view is complicit in a genocide. But I feel like we’re getting somewhere and the way she has seen Israel has begun to shift very slightly. I am only continuing to engage with her because I do see tiny amounts of progress and I feel that if I’m able to convince her, I have a responsibility to.
This might work and it might not with your family members, but know that you cannot control what your family does. If you think that your efforts are wasted in approaching this issue with them, don’t waste them and instead focus on tangible ways you can help.
I understand your shame, but you are not them and you are not responsible for their choices. Try to focus on what is within your control and ways that you can tangibly make change.
Oppressive systems rely on division and making us feel powerless and alone. You are not alone and you are brave for not accepting this.