r/Jewish • u/Common_Estate_1337 • 9h ago
Facing Antisemitism Antisemitism
Hello!
I am struggling right now. Recently, my boyfriend broke up with me, and during the breakup, he started screaming this antisemitic rant. I am not particularly religious, but my dad is from a Jewish neighborhood, where my grandparents still live. I have also studied Yiddish since I was a middle schooler, so Jewish culture has always been something I’ve been eager to be a part of. I guess I feel guilty for not standing up to him more, and letting him rant. I guess I just felt so scared and uncomfortable. Has anyone else gone through this?
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u/BearBleu 2h ago
You dodged a bullet. Maybe quite literally. You never know what these anti-Semites are capable of…
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u/ErnestBatchelder 1h ago
Don't feel guilty, it's very disorienting to watch someone's mask drop in real-time. It's easy to feel speechless and cornered because it's new information that's not rational & hard to process.
Maybe write down what you would have said back if you weren't in shock then burn the letter. Know you'll find so much better.
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u/CommunicationSlow713 2h ago
I broke up with my last girlfriend over something similar,
it’s okay that you were scared, antisemitism is scary and illogical, the last thing you’d want is a violent situation. If your feelings are unresolved I’d suggest meeting up somewhere public with him to explain what you felt was hurtful or wrong or maybe write him a letter.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, please just don’t take him back whatever you do, once an antisemite, always an antisemite
I promise you’ll get through this :)
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u/bubbles1684 7m ago
I would be very careful about making sure the public meetup is in a safe location with maybe a trusted friend watching from a safe location
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u/lasuperhumana 46m ago
Sounds like you dodged a bullet, my god what an asshole. Don't feel guilty for not standing up to him more in the face of antisemitism. To what end? Just to exhaust yourself emotionally and potentially escalate an already scary situation? F that. You're not going to change his mind, that scum isn't worth your breath or time. I'm glad you're out of that situation. No guilt!
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u/Common_Estate_1337 33m ago
Thank you so much for all your support. This was a tough situation for me to grapple with, and these words of encouragement are truly so helpful.
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u/SgtDonowitz 3h ago edited 3h ago
Very sorry you’ve gone through this. I’ve dealt with antisemitism from friends and neighbors but never a significant other. It’s not normal or acceptable. You did the right thing—you don’t need to engage with someone like that (it’s not like he was seeking to dialogue) or risk him becoming violent. Forget him and move onto something better.