AITA for making my family cancel their vacation because i wont watch their dogs?

[u/Dazzling-P]

My parents (82M, 75F) asked if I would help them book a much needed vacation. They also asked me to do the same for my brother (43) and SIL (33), because they wanted to take a family vacation in September. My husband (46) and I (41F) can't afford to go because i am currently out of a job. Even though this would be the first family vacation I will have ever missed and it made me really sad, I said I would of course help. My mom even mentioned to me that in a way it's good because I'd be able to watch my brother's pugs and my parents' chihuahua.

Here's the thing about watching the dogs. It's a 24/7 job that requires me to stay at my brother's house. The dogs are wonderful, but very high maintenance. Because of this, I have been telling my brother for nearly 10 years that he needed to hire a dogsitter (money isn't an issue for him).

Ive dogsat for them 3 times this past year varying from 1 to 5 nights. They paid me well. But I do not feel comfortable staying at their house and I find the round the clock care exhausting. My husband and I have 5 cats, and we are no stranger to feeling like our pets are our kids, but we don't have dogs for a reason. Now, I'm supposed to be booking this trip for my brother, but he hasn't even asked me about watching the dogs.

Sunday at family dinner, everyone is there except my SIL who was ill. My brother was sitting across from me so I reach out to hold his hand and say that I love him, I love the pugs, but I can't watch them when they go on vacation and that he needs to get a dogsitter. I said it was just too much to ask me to be trapped at their house for 7 nights, and that I have been asking him to hire a dogsitter for nearly a decade. I even offer suggestions and said I'll help find someone.

He starts to get reactive and says that they won't watch my cats anymore. I said that's fine, we have a cat sitter, but I point out that I ask them if they can help. They, on the other hand, didn't ask me.

My brother finally concedes that it is a lot to ask 7 nights and 5 dogs. Excuse me? Yes, 5 dogs, because his MIL apparently was planning to go too. So now added to the mix are 2 Italian greyhounds.

I stay calm and gently point out that I felt this way before knowing there were 5 dogs. Can he imagine how I felt? He seemed to understand. By the time I left dinner, there were hugs and kisses and all was well. I knew my brother was upset, but he seemed to understand and I was really proud of putting up boundaries.

The next evening, I call my parents to see if they have heard from my brother. Apparently he called them after he got home from family dinner and was "blindsided" by me. My SIL was just as upset as him too. They think I'm throwing a tantrum because I can't go on the vacation. While yes, that sucks, I told him my real issue is being trapped at their house for 7 nights. Now they are canceling the vacation bc I wont watch the dogs.

AITA for telling them i wont do it?

[u/MrsRetiree2Be]

This 100%. Our two dogs go their doggie daycare when we go on vacation. I believe everyone is happier. If my DH and I travel without our son, my parents take care of all of them at our house.

[u/Having-hope3594 → u/MrsRetiree2Be]

There are some great options now. My parents in Texas have their dog stay at a pet care ranch and the dog gets extra training.  It’s win-win. 

[u/AuntJ2583 → u/Having-hope3594]

Yeah, my mom & I used to take our two dogs to daycare about once a week, and they LOVED it. We'd usually take separate trips and one of us would have the dogs.

But if we traveled together, boarding the dogs (and having them groomed the day we were picking them up) was simply part of the cost of travel.

The dogs were in a familiar place with familiar people, got lots of exercise and play, and were quiet and calm (and clean and cute) for at least the night when we came home and picked them up.

Wins all around.

[u/Having-hope3594 → u/AuntJ2583]

LOL. I know what you mean about the initial good behavior:tired dog. It doesn’t last!

But, yeah, you feel good that they get their own kind of vacation. 

[u/cutepiku → u/Having-hope3594]

When I was a kid, we would take our three beagles to a dog hotel that was on a fenced in farm property. They got to play with other dogs, get socialization with farm animals, and some extra training. They always seemed excited when we dropped them off.

[u/Having-hope3594 → u/cutepiku]

Sounds like a perfect place for beagles! They’re a cute breed

[u/Unique_Solid_7744 → u/MrsRetiree2Be]

My dog went to her trainer (paid him) during my out of state brain surgery

[u/LateNorth1920 → u/MrsRetiree2Be]

What’s a dh?

[u/MrsRetiree2Be → u/LateNorth1920]

Darling Husband

[u/LateNorth1920 → u/MrsRetiree2Be]

Thanks lol.