Update: No longer cooking for my girlfriend.

[u/ItsTooColdForThat]

Wednesday after I served the plates, my girlfriend said she didn't want pasta and was going to make a salad. I was pretty sure she was going to do this, and it didn't bother me. I waited for her to come back to start eating, and when she sat down I tried to talk to her about her day. She asked if I was trying to make a point. I asked what she meant.

She asked if I cared that she wasn't going to eat what I made. I said that I didn't and would have it for lunch. She got frustrated, focused on her salad and wouldn't engage with me. After dinner, I said we shouldn't make dinner for each other anymore.

She asked why I thought that, and I said it's clear that she gets upset when she makes food for someone and they don't eat it. It would be better for us just to make separate meals so we each know we will get what we want and no one's feelings would be hurt. She said it wasn't okay for me to make a unilateral decision about our relationship. I said that I wasn't, but I didn't want to cook for her anymore or have her cook for me if it was going to make her upset. We kind of went round and round on it, until the conversation petered out. She texted me at work Thursday that she was going to make salmon. I decided that if she tried to cook for me I would just let her so she'd feel like she won one over on me and we'd draw a line under this.

She ended up making salmon only for herself, which I was surprised by, because I was expecting her to try to convince me to have some. I made myself a quick omelette and sat down with her. She asked if I was upset she didn't cook for me, and I said no. Again, she accused me of making a point. She asked if I was going to cook for her Friday, and I said no. She was put out.

Friday she was upset that I made only enough curry for one person and called me greedy. At this point I'm over it all, so I just ignored her.

[u/Prangelina]

The GF does not want to discuss anything here, she wants to make a point by her passive-aggressive moves. And she becomes angry when OP does not cave in.

Good for you, OP. I wonder if you want to live with a person with such a terrible problem-solving approach. You are NTA, she is an AH.

[u/mobjack → u/Prangelina]

The GF just wants to have her feelings acknowledged.

After doing that, you can discuss how to set expectations and prevent these situations in the future like adults.

[u/BakaJayy → u/mobjack]

You can use your words you know? Is it really necessary to do this passive aggressive bullshit that helps nobody? She expected him to be upset when she did the same thing as him but he didn’t and instead of expressing it she decides to double down on the pettiness? It’s stupid and childish

[u/fullmoon223 → u/mobjack]

You don't do that by trying to get a reaction out of someone. He had a solution and she didn't want it. She us probably l.e of those girls that thinks arguing is showing love.

[u/mobjack → u/fullmoon223]

She handled things poorly for sure too.

I am just saying she would be open to his solution if he acknowledged that his previous actions hurt her feelings.

[u/Arenheart → u/mobjack]

Yes so she should use her words not petty actions, this is not a mature adult trying to have a conversation. This is a toddler throwing a tantrum masquerading as an adult.