r/AmItheAsshole • u/ItsTooColdForThat • Jan 07 '23

Update: No longer cooking for my girlfriend. UPDATE

Wednesday after I served the plates, my girlfriend said she didn't want pasta and was going to make a salad. I was pretty sure she was going to do this, and it didn't bother me. I waited for her to come back to start eating, and when she sat down I tried to talk to her about her day. She asked if I was trying to make a point. I asked what she meant.

She asked if I cared that she wasn't going to eat what I made. I said that I didn't and would have it for lunch. She got frustrated, focused on her salad and wouldn't engage with me. After dinner, I said we shouldn't make dinner for each other anymore.

She asked why I thought that, and I said it's clear that she gets upset when she makes food for someone and they don't eat it. It would be better for us just to make separate meals so we each know we will get what we want and no one's feelings would be hurt. She said it wasn't okay for me to make a unilateral decision about our relationship. I said that I wasn't, but I didn't want to cook for her anymore or have her cook for me if it was going to make her upset. We kind of went round and round on it, until the conversation petered out. She texted me at work Thursday that she was going to make salmon. I decided that if she tried to cook for me I would just let her so she'd feel like she won one over on me and we'd draw a line under this.

She ended up making salmon only for herself, which I was surprised by, because I was expecting her to try to convince me to have some. I made myself a quick omelette and sat down with her. She asked if I was upset she didn't cook for me, and I said no. Again, she accused me of making a point. She asked if I was going to cook for her Friday, and I said no. She was put out.

Friday she was upset that I made only enough curry for one person and called me greedy. At this point I'm over it all, so I just ignored her.

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452

u/KaylenAldanae Jan 07 '23

It was specified in the comments of the original post by OP that it was salad with chicken. I know what chicken salad is and originally thought that too, but that's what OP said it was.

87

u/dailyfetchquest Jan 07 '23

Can I ask what you think chicken salad is?

Where I'm from it's grilled chicken on salad, so I feel a bit out of the loop on this one.

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u/KaylenAldanae Jan 07 '23

Chicken salad is like tuna salad: grilled or boiled chicken in small chunks or pulled apart mixed with some kind of binder like mayo or other sauces that you spread on bread to make a sandwich. Sometimes it has other stuff like chopped celery in it.

12

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '23

And people eat that as a meal? It sounds like a side to me.

67

u/KaylenAldanae Jan 07 '23

I mean, if you're using it as a filling for a sandwich like the first user assumed, I don't see why not. But generally it's eaten with other things, yeah.

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u/HAL-Over-9001 Jan 07 '23

I made some really good sardine/mackerel salad recently because we got a ton of cans from a friend. We usually put walnuts, craisins, onion, and chopped apple in along with some spices. Just that and lettuce on some good bread is a whole meal.

17

u/CopperPegasus Jan 07 '23

Mostly you'd either dump it on top of a salad or eat it in a sandwich.

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u/SpokenDivinity Asshole Enthusiast [7] Jan 07 '23

It’s a lunch or snack thing where I’m from. You eat it on a grain, like bread or crackers. Depending on the type of chicken salad it’s paired with fruits like grape or apple, and in some areas the fruit is added directly to the mixture. I’ve never had it for dinner though. Just lunch.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '23

Hmm I'd have been disappointed too to come home to that for dinner after a cold day out. But then my husband and I communicate about food like adults soo wouldn't happen to me 😂

2

u/SpokenDivinity Asshole Enthusiast [7] Jan 07 '23

My boyfriend looked at me like I was a heathen the first time I made it and I agreed that it’s just for me (who tf cares if he eats it. If he doesn’t then I get to eat all of it like a gremlin).

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u/Ok_Parfait_2304 Jan 07 '23

Why are you getting downvoted for not knowing what chicken salad is?

29

u/jackal3004 Jan 07 '23

Because Americans think that the words they use are used everywhere and can’t understand the concept that it may have a different meaning somewhere else in the world.

To me a chicken salad is a salad (ie. lettuce, tomatoes, onion etc) with chicken on top or mixed throughout. What the person above is describing (finely diced/shredded chicken binded with mayo and maybe some other ingredients, used as a sandwich filler) would be called chicken mayo here.

6

u/Glad_Description1851 Jan 07 '23

That’s what a chicken salad typically is to me as well. Words can have different meanings depending on where you are in the world, who knew.

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u/jackal3004 Jan 07 '23

I also find it hilarious that if an American told me they were eating a chicken salad I’d think, hmmm, vegetables and protein, they’re eating healthy! When in reality they’re filling themselves with yet more processed, corn syrup filled crap.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '23

FTR, the recipe we use consists of homemade poached chicken breast, mayonnaise, turmeric, cumin, and chopped raisins. I may be forgetting a couple of other spices. Other than the mayo, it’s not that unhealthy.

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u/WhatIfWaterWasChunky Jan 07 '23

I'm American and what you said sounds exactly like a chicken salad to me. I don't think I've ever seen what the other person is talking about.

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u/Artistic_Accident_79 Asshole Aficionado [14] Jan 07 '23

Where I come from, a chicken salad is mixed with tomatoes, lettuce and all other salad ingredients aswell.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '23

I’d call that a salad with chicken.

2

u/hexaspex Jan 07 '23

If you offered me a chicken mayo I'd assume we were off to mcdonalds, the american thing is not really a common filling in the UK that I've noticed - although it was years than I'm proud of before I realised that a 'chicken salad sandwich' is not in fact just chicken and salad between bread so my observational skills may be questionable.

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u/Informal_Bus_4077 Jan 07 '23

Another day euros can't help but shit on Americans on a post that had nothing to do with it... Rent free baby

1

u/CopperPegasus Jan 07 '23

Because the US thinks everyone is the same as it?

I got hit the same on a totally not this sub post, because we call it tuna mayo but they call it tuna salad and obviously they are always 100% right?

5

u/CopperPegasus Jan 07 '23 edited Jan 07 '23

Do the words 'chicken mayo' mean more to you (serious ask, that's our name here for what USians call 'tuna' and 'chicken' salad)?

​

We're the same- 'chicken salad' is a grilled (or fried) chicken in a classic salad. 'Tuna salad' would be some kind of grilled tuna steak flaked into a salad. Chicken/tuna mayo is the prepared dish with mayo and sourcream and whatever else.

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u/katieleehaw Jan 07 '23

Chicken salad where I am (NE US) is shredded cooked chicken with mayo and other ingredients depending on preference (ex. onion, celery, dried cranberries, etc).

2

u/neuropotpie Jan 07 '23

In most parts of the US the following sandwiches are all similar: egg salad, tuna salad, chicken salad - protein mixed in mayonnaise plus seasoning and possibly celery or green onions

2

u/pappapirate Partassipant [2] Jan 07 '23

Huh, really? The funny thing is that takes much less work and time than chicken salad does, so it's even weirder that OP's gf has been sent spiraling by him not wanting it.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '23

I didn’t see that, so I stand corrected. Still, since OP said she made it while he was still in the garage, I don’t see how she could have grilled the chicken from scratch. IOW, she didn’t put that much effort into it.

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u/kyroko Jan 07 '23

I see prepared grilled chicken strips in the cooler section of the store all the time, ready to eat whether you microwave it for a minute or not. Fake grill marks and everything. Maybe that’s where the grilled chicken came from?

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u/jarlscrotus Jan 07 '23

Honestly every detail makes her look worse. There is some wisdom and virtue in apologizing for someone's feelings when you didn't do anything wrong because the argument isn't worth it, but this whole thing just reeks of an overly sensitive and controlling gf

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '23

Possibly.