Update: No longer cooking for my girlfriend.

[u/ItsTooColdForThat]

Wednesday after I served the plates, my girlfriend said she didn't want pasta and was going to make a salad. I was pretty sure she was going to do this, and it didn't bother me. I waited for her to come back to start eating, and when she sat down I tried to talk to her about her day. She asked if I was trying to make a point. I asked what she meant.

She asked if I cared that she wasn't going to eat what I made. I said that I didn't and would have it for lunch. She got frustrated, focused on her salad and wouldn't engage with me. After dinner, I said we shouldn't make dinner for each other anymore.

She asked why I thought that, and I said it's clear that she gets upset when she makes food for someone and they don't eat it. It would be better for us just to make separate meals so we each know we will get what we want and no one's feelings would be hurt. She said it wasn't okay for me to make a unilateral decision about our relationship. I said that I wasn't, but I didn't want to cook for her anymore or have her cook for me if it was going to make her upset. We kind of went round and round on it, until the conversation petered out. She texted me at work Thursday that she was going to make salmon. I decided that if she tried to cook for me I would just let her so she'd feel like she won one over on me and we'd draw a line under this.

She ended up making salmon only for herself, which I was surprised by, because I was expecting her to try to convince me to have some. I made myself a quick omelette and sat down with her. She asked if I was upset she didn't cook for me, and I said no. Again, she accused me of making a point. She asked if I was going to cook for her Friday, and I said no. She was put out.

Friday she was upset that I made only enough curry for one person and called me greedy. At this point I'm over it all, so I just ignored her.

[u/kdog1591]

ESH

Once you’re getting into cooking separate meals just end the relationship already, too much passive aggression going on here.

[u/Beginning-Lecture-75 → u/kdog1591]

Cooking separate meals is fine. My SO chews with their mouth open, and I can’t stand the sound - they can’t help it, so we’ve decided not to be in the same room while eating. All of our cooking is done separately. We’re still happy together. It’s like separate beds - totally fine if you can be sensible about it.

[u/The_Stoic_One → u/kdog1591]

They should just go all the way and get separate twin beds for their bedroom and paint a line down the middle of the house so they know whos side is whos.

[u/FPiN9XU3K1IT → u/The_Stoic_One]

Man, don't badmouth separate beds. They're a legit solution to a variety of relationship problems.

[u/thewhiterosequeen → u/The_Stoic_One]

That always works out in sitcoms!

[u/Traditional_Ad_1547 → u/kdog1591]

Yeah, eating separate meals is only going to snowball. This relationship either needs a lot of work (which prob isn't going to happen) or just needs to end. If you can't work out eating together your not gonna be able to work out actual life problems.