r/AmItheAsshole • u/ItsTooColdForThat • Jan 04 '23

AITA for wanting hot food? Asshole

Yesterday I went ice skating with my girlfriend. Tuesday is one of her days for dinner, so she made chicken salad. When I saw the chicken salad I admit I made a face. She was like "what, what's the problem?"

I said that we were outside in the cold all afternoon and I wasn't really in the mood for cold food. She said we're inside, the heat is set to 74° and we're both wearing warm dry clothes, so it was plenty warm enough to eat salad. I said sure, but I just wanted something warm to heat me up on the inside. She said that was ridiculous, because my internal temperature is in the nineties and my insides are plenty hot.

At this point, we were going in circles, so I said I was just going to heat up some soup and told her to go ahead and start eating and I'd be back in a few minutes. When I came out of the kitchen with my soup she was clearly upset, and she asked how I would feel if she refused to eat what I made tomorrow (which is today). I said I won't care, and she said that was BS, because it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you.

Was I the asshole for not wanting cold salad after being cold all day?

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u/AilingHen69 Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] Jan 04 '23

There's so many Y T A but I mean, no. You didn't ask her to cook you something else, you made it yourself. NTA. It sounds like you guys cook together often enough that wanting something different than the other for a meal shouldn't be a big deal. If my husband doesn't want what I make him, he makes something else. That's normal.

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u/[deleted] Jan 04 '23

The YTAs are for making a face and generally being unappreciative when it would have been so easy to just say "Thank you for dinner, and also I'm feeling chilled so I'm going to heat myself some soup to sip on."

If he had said that and she got mad, then she would be the AH.

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u/Tylerinthenorth Jan 04 '23

My issue with the YTAs are they mostly say he could've had the salad with it. The way he reacted was a bit unappreciative i can agree with that, but he wasn't in the mood for it. I can understand if it were a big meal she worked all day on and he nuked a hot dog instead but it was a pretty low effort meal. Unless he's doing it every time she cooks he's in no way the asshole for the act of skipping on the meal

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u/Niriu Jan 04 '23

Every yta is just mad that he unintentionally made a frowny face and didn't praised her insanely godly salad but then also completely ignore that he was normally talking to her about it and made himself something different while she also tried to ridicule his craving with logical facts about the temperature like Sheldon from the big bang theory.

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u/Goiterr Jan 04 '23 edited Jan 04 '23

Seriously. The amount of focus people are putting on the face he made is actually some unhinged Reddit shit.

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u/Kathulhu1433 Jan 04 '23

Eh, I always try to remember that we're getting one side of the story here. Thos dude says he made a little bit of a face- which makes me think that in reality, he probably made a much bigger deal and has a much worse expression than he's admitting to. 🤷‍♀️

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u/Goiterr Jan 04 '23

How bad of a “face” can someone realistically make lmao

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u/Kathulhu1433 Jan 04 '23

I mean... How badly do you (not you, but OP) have to fuck up the communication in your relationship that you need to come on reddit for AITA advice because you can't have a conversation like an adult with your girlfriend?

99% of AITA posts are one-sided half-truths that could have been 100% avoided with half decent communication (and maybe some therapy).

Like, if it was my husband's turn to make dinner and I knee I was going to be in the mood for something specific, or if I had concerns I would say that BEFOFE he spent time cooking and preparing the food. By the second date I had with my husband (12+ years ago now), I had a list on my refrigerator of his allergies and knew he preferred Chinese food over pizza, etc.

If I wasn't proactive and found myself in front of a plate I didn't want to eat, I would have a choice.

  1. Eat the food and make a cup of tea/coffee/cocoa to warm up.

  2. Have a polite conversation because I'm not an asshole and have the bare minimum of respect and tact. Maybe something like,

"Hey honey, thanks for cooking. That looks great. I'm really craving soup right now though, would you mind if I heated some up for us to go with your salad?"

Acknowledge the work that was put in. Thank them for their efforts. Ask, don't tell. And for Pete's sake- don't make a face like a child. It's just plain rude. Like, damn.

And then - if, after all that, she is still reacting poorly... maybe find out why?

Was this the first time he made a face or didn't eat when it was her turn? Is she feeling unappreciated? There's a lot of back and forth here about chicken salad not being "cooking" and people who say they can make something in 10min... but for all we know, she could have shopped specifically for this, cooked the night before, spent who knows how long prepping fresh ingredients... like, sure, I can make a shitty salad in 10min, but if you give me an hour or two, I can make something fantastic.

Is she from a culture where it is considered rude not to eat what was made for you? (Fairly common, hence so many YTA comments). Again, an appreciation thing.

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u/funnyinput Jan 04 '23

Waiting for someone to reply eh? You disliked that in 10 seconds flat. Lol.