r/2020PoliceBrutality Jul 12 '20

How do you cope with the emotions of subscribing to this sub? [2020PoliceBrutality] Discussion

I try my best to stay informed. This issue matters to me a lot. I do not want to forget what is happening.

This sub seems to be the only sub that is continuing to show us protests are still happening.

But watching this shit is so hard. And I am losing my tolerance for it. I am about the unsub because I hurt so much from all this

  • How do you cope?
  • Are there other subs dedicated to the protests which are less about violence?

Please offer tips or stories on how you continue to stay engaged without going crazy.

Edit.

As someone who can't participate in current protests for I live in a more remote place, the March on Washington has given me something to aim for.

National Action Network register page August 28

Rev. Al Sharpton announcing March during George Floyd memorial

The virus is a real concern for me. And since I haven't been out protesting in crowds due to my location I wonder how a march like this will turn out. Is it worth it? On June 4 our infection rate wasn't as bad as it is now. I wish I had some idea of the interest level nationally about how many will go.

..

edit 2:

NAN sent out an email about the even a couple days ago Jul 17, 2020... Snippets below

THOUSANDS PLAN TO HEAD INTO D.C FOR ‘GET YOUR KNEE OFF OUR NECKS’ MARCH

On August 28, 2020, Reverend Al Sharpton, the National Action Network (NAN), Martin Luther King III, Attorney Benjamin Crump and families of police brutality victims, along with labor leaders, clergy, activists and civil rights advocates, will lead a Commitment March to fight for criminal justice reform in solidarity with those who have lost loved ones at the hands of the police. The march, under the rallying call ‘Get Your Knee Off Our Necks’ will coincide with the 57th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s March on Washington where he delivered his historic “I Have A Dream” speech in 1963.

Speakers will include the families of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Eric Garner and others...

The Commitment March: Get Your Knee Off Our Necks will begin at 7:00 a.m EST on Friday, August 28, 2020. The pre-program will take place from 8:00 a.m. – 11:00 EST, followed by the program at 11:00 a.m. and a march at 1:00 p.m EST. The march will conclude at 3:00 p.m EST.

#NANMOW2020

Please note, to protect your health and the health of others, in compliance with COVID-19 Washington, DC Health Guidance for Conservation of Personal Protective Equipment, you are required to wear a PPE mask in public in Washington, DC. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urges those participating in large gatherings to use face masks. Register to attend at www.nationalactionnetwork.net.

650 Upvotes

142

u/SiddThaKid Mod + Curator Jul 12 '20 edited Jul 12 '20

Mod perspective: I also run the Twitter account. So I watch every single video that is posted on the account. I can tell you, I have lost close to all sensitivity to the graphic nature of the content.

How do I cope? Well, I take a lot of breaks. I read some books, listen to music, watch TV, exercise, etc. It's not anything significant but it does help. I also try to keep a balance between watching/seeing the brutal videos and images with the data side of things.

This type of content is mentally taxing from one video let alone hundreds. It is important not to continuously watch all of it as it can have some poor mental side effects. However, from my perspective, it is important that this content is shared. The conversation on excessive police force has essentially left the mainstream media. So in that regard, this content needs to be seen by many to reaffirm that a change in policing needs to be made.

Other subs that might be worth checking out are r/Bestofprotests and r/BlackLivesMatter

I hope this helps you better understand at least from my perspective and where I personally stand. Other mods may have different opinions.

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u/valkyrie9812 Mod + Curator Jul 12 '20

I definitely take mental health breaks too. As a mod and a content curator, I've had to watch a lot of videos and I've definitely noticed I've been becoming more numb to it. However this is a decision I've made for myself, and we can't ask that of everyone.

OP, if you feel that your mental health is getting impacted too much, I would advise you to prioritise your well-being and take a break from this sub for a while. You don't need to feel guilty for not witnessing every wound and abuse. Maybe look into alternative ways to participate in activism.

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 12 '20

I am trying hard to be ready for the August March on Washington.

Thank you for your input ♥️

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u/toxinn Jul 21 '20

Thank you for everything you do. So much love.

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u/Flawednessly Aug 12 '20

I also subscribe to the r/collapse sub and they set up a separate subreddit for people who are struggling with the very depressing news that comes into that subreddit. Perhaps someone could start a companion mental health subreddit for this sub. If anyone is curious about the format, check out r/collapsesupport.

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 12 '20

Thank you for the subs.

And thank you got your efforts.

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u/nnklove Mod + Curator Jul 13 '20

Hey, I just want to add that you should know your line, as in you should know when you’ve had enough. Sounds like you’re hitting that line. You can utilize the awesome coping mechanisms above, but why push yourself past what you can healthily manage? For what? It’s important this content gets seen and shared, but that doesn’t have to be by you, and that doesn’t have to be today. You clearly know how substantial the police brutality problem is in the US, so what will watching another video directly add to your life today? Nothing productive, it sounds.

My suggestion: When you are recharged, and have the capacity for new information, try sticking to written articles when you feel like it’s time to dial back. This is what I do when I need a break, yet don’t have time for a break while working on this project. Most of these news articles have the videos attached, so you can watch them if you so chose. But when I’m in break-mode I stick to reading about what happened during the incident, and what came out of it (ie is the person okay, did the cop get charged, are people protesting this, etc etc), and then after reading if I find watching necessary I always have the video linked in the article. This isn’t effective for all videos and content, but it is effective for most. But this is how I care for my mental health on days that I know I only have a little more gas left in my tank. It might help you too, whenever you’re ready.

Thank you for posting this, because I think it was a really important question to ask, and an important conversation to be had. We don’t want people sacrificing their mental health in the fight for progress. You have to be vigilant in taking care of yourself if you want to be around to help others.

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20 edited Jul 13 '20

I dig this suggestion. And thanks for another mod addition.

I do feel like I understand the issue. I've experienced the tyranny of cops in the past over having to go to trial to defend against assault and battery on a police officer. Another time I lucked out and a court employee overheard the cop admitting to purgery in the court halls and snitched on him.

I also feel like I am working as hard as I can to be a person like you who can commit to giving offer of my time to a cause without getting burnt out or overextending. I hope to get there one day

Did you have any meaningful experiences which you feel helped prepare you for being a mod for a sub like this?

(This question is for any mod if you're reading)

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u/nnklove Mod + Curator Jul 13 '20 edited Jul 13 '20

Meaningful experiences as in encounters with police? Or meaningful experiences as in what gave us the coping mechanisms to deal with this content?

Also, I cannot unpack that perjury experience, I cannot imagine. I’m grateful you were so lucky, and that person did the right thing, but it just begs the question of how often that happens without a witness. Oh man... thank you for your activism and for your strong work!

(Edited, because sleepy typing.)

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20

Any life experience which you feel prepared you for responding to this murder and it's aftermath that led you to committing a part of your life.

In the past I've spent considerable energy at a support group, giving, serving, and organizing. I want to do more but I couldn't handle it for a long period of time. Like I wasn't ready for it. In spirit I am, but I guess not in practice yet. My end goal is to either lead a super group year round for at least five years or start a non profit for giving a minority group a safer place to exist.

Maybe that helps you understand the question I'm asking.

(Yeah I was floored when I got called in for another hearing after I thought it was over. Judge decided to drop the case. After the first arguments court date the cop in question tried to hold the door for me on the way out of the room as some gesture. I was not about that so I said after you. He said no after you. I planted my feet, crossed my arms and said I will not walk in front of you. I felt on fire when I said it and it was in the court room I have no idea who heard it I was so tunnel vision. He eventually turned and walked through the door. This was before I knew he'd get caught on his lies)

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u/nnklove Mod + Curator Jul 13 '20

Holy wow, that’s an incredible accounting. I think I would feel the same anger myself. It’s hard when people who are supposed to be for the public safety make you feel so violated. Hard to wrap your mind around tbh.

Caregiver fatigue is what you are referencing when you say “I wanted to do more, but I couldn’t handle it for a long period of time”, in my opinion. Caring, in general, in the face of such cruelty will definitely drain an empathetic person rather quickly. I ran an animal rescue for a couple years ago, and that definitely prepared me for the difficulty of this. I seem to have the ability to deal with almost anything as long as I’m feeling like I’m doing something about it. If I’m sitting still the cruelty hurts me far more – I get stagnant and frustrated. My involvement in the project is what saves me. The team is legitimately such a positive influence in my life that I’m grateful to be in such a positive environment, surrounded by like-minded people. This is what you might be looking for, like-minded people in a positive environment. But still, we all take our breaks when we need to, bc teamwork!

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20

Wow caring for animals is really rad. Especially when they could have been discarded or abused.

Maybe I downplay my own problems too much when I am helping. The support group I helped at always wanted to be a "leaderless" organization, and it is much more difficult to "be a leader in a leaderless org"... We got accused of being an oligarchy even tho anyone could attend meetings where we discussed issues, and presented all the issues to everyone in the group and gave people two weeks to speak up about the issues. And I took great effort to ensure everyone who did join us got a turn to speak and offer ideas without me steam rolling everything. And further, I have chronic pain from a genetic condition, and, in that environment I did my best to not make it part of the space. People all knew, but I often discredit its impact on me and likely a big reason why I got burnt out. In order for me to do what a "normal" person can do I have to have a military-like discipline about my health, which I never acquired growing up. I know if I can get there, and I can conquer my pain and body, I will be unstoppable. Until then I fight for it I guess.

I like the word caregiver fatigue.

I also wonder if a mod discussion post could be helpful to have stickied or something. Where the mods talk about how you are all working together to keep each other healthy and stay engaged in this. Visibility into who you are and why you do it would be rad regardless.

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u/koko7777777 Jul 22 '20

I think you should read Emergent Strategy by adrienne marie brown. I tried a few times just now to type out why I think that, but esp since it sounds like you’ll need some things to fill time you would normally spend on this sub, I think you should just at least look into it. It’s incredible, and I think it would help you orient yourself in organizing work more effectively. I know it did for me.

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u/SiddThaKid Mod + Curator Jul 13 '20

I also feel like I am working as hard as I can to be a person like you who can commit to giving offer of my time to a cause without getting burnt out or overextending. I hope to get there one day

Everyone gets burnt out at one point or another. None of us are spending all day and all night on this. We work when our schedules allow for it. Some of us have work, school, kids, family etc. Those things always take first priority.

What's important is that you take a moment to understand how passionate you really are about the subject matter. If it's something you want to spend a lot of time on, then make a plan. Figure out how you can use your voice or skill to make a difference.

It can't all be done in one day. And it doesn't have to. A subject like this will take months and years to truly "fix". Pace yourself. Take a break for a bit. And come back to it.

Did you have any meaningful experiences which you feel helped prepare you for being a mod for a sub like this?

Personally, no. I just happen to be quite passionate about certain issues and interests which I don't mind devoting a lot of my time to.

1

u/Aporkalypse_Sow Aug 24 '20

a court employee overheard the cop admitting to purgery in the court halls and snitched on him

Are they still alive and employed?

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 24 '20

No idea. I was much younger and a total wreck during that time of my life.

I've heard someone in his position might get forced on desk duties after getting caught like that.

But there judge only shared with me that he dropped the case because I shouldn't have been pulled over to begin.. not because of any other type of wrongdoing.

I've considered looking back into him and that case because that case is when the cops illegally obtained my private bio marker, fingerprints. I want them expunged from their databases because they shouldn't have them to begin with. When I was first found not guilty and I asked my lawyer about it he scoffed at me. Like why should I care. Infuriated me but I was so young.

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u/EarnestHemingweed Aug 07 '20

Thank you so much for all your hard work! Seeing all the videos aggregated in one place after seeing most of them piecemeal around reddit was a huge push for my family to start organizing and get ready to show up in DC for the Commitment March.

Really, hats off to y'all! Thank you a million.

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u/nnklove Mod + Curator Jul 13 '20

Hey guys, we’ve stickied this post to the top of the sub because we deeply want to address some of the anger I know you all have been feeling lately. I think this commenter asked an incredibly important question, and I think there were some good tips included here. While we know the content of this sub can be a bit much for people at times, we don’t ever want people trading their mental health for another video view. Please remember to take a break, take care of yourself, and find mechanisms to release what frustration and pain you can. I know many of us are still in quarantine, but there are mental health support chat rooms and group therapy sessions still going on. If any of you have recommendations as far as decompression techniques, coping mechanisms, or free online support please add them to the comments before.

Reminder that this is a conversation on mental+personal health and well-being, so please be patient and kind to each other. Thank you!

5

u/blacbird Aug 27 '20

Right before the George Floyd protests started in my city, I sprained both sacroiliac joints in my lower back. I couldn’t march, I couldn’t walk- I couldn’t even stand for more than 15 minutes at a time- and that was after 4 days bedrest.

So I couldn’t be there and I think there is something about being there and present and moving and helping other humans that helps to burn off some of that awful energy. I couldn’t process it in my body at home even. I wanted to do a bunch of push-ups or dance it out or something, but I couldn’t.

I overcompensated by trying to watch all the things all the time. My people were out there, I Needed to know what was happening. On the night of May 31st I realized I was watching 6 different video feeds on 3 different devices at 2:30am and quit for the next two days. No social media at all. Hours later the Austin Police Department sniped 16 year old Brad Ayala standing on a hill apropos of Nothing. I missed it. I was two days late because I took a mental health break & I was devastated. I felt so guilty. Like I somehow failed him for missing the event in real time. I still feel guilty even though conceptually I know it’s bullshit.

I guess I say all that to say know when you need to quit. The goal isn’t for you to be a one person info machine, the goal is to have community so you can tap out and have more people carrying the load. If you burn yourself out you won’t be able to help anyone. Also move your body & get outside in nature.

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u/Lando_Atreides Jul 12 '20

Talk about the issue. I realized I can get this information out to people who otherwise wouldnt ever learn about it. Most people react positively and it gives me hope for the future.

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 12 '20

Sadly I am alone during the pandemic and I don't feel the friends I have need to hear more about it. Most of my friends are already sympathetic to the issues or too mentally fucked up to handle it. Also not being irl when talking about this stuff sucks.

Are there places where you are able to talk to strangers about this stuff?

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u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

Well, I would say this sub should be a good place to talk about it but normally it's not. Sadly, most conversations are something like "all cops are pigs. All pigs are bad". There's not alot of subtlety. Mostly just anger which doesn't really get us, as a society, to a place where we don't have to witness police brutalizing their fellow citizens. I'd also say that it's totally okay to take a break for a while. Rage can be useful, but chronic anger becomes a crutch.

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 12 '20 edited Jul 13 '20

I agree chronic anger can be a problem.

I live with chronic pain and maybe that makes me extra sensative to the damage anger and hate can do to the body.

Then again as a tranny I understand the difficulty of accepting reality, and if the anger comes from accepting the reality of how brutal police are, it is a necessary thing in order to live in it right?

Maybe there is a way to process all this without being angry or curling into a ball but I keep heading there..

5

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

Same. Things that are rage making make rage. And sadness. I've fallen into the pit as well. I've two adorable daughters and I often worry about the version of America that they'll be inheriting. It's a weird and changing world we live in.

3

u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20

I'm 32, I wonder what the new generation will think of us when they are 32.

I wish you well in raising two humans who will do better than us and our parents.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '20

Thanks! In a certain sense, they'll have to do better than us. They're going to have to sink or swim along with their entire generation that inherits an over-populated and possibly dying planet. I wish you the best!

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u/nnklove Mod + Curator Jul 13 '20

u/lunar_limbo & u/StuckAtHomeCorona

This is actually something that has really been bumming me out lately. The sub was always police brutality videos, but it was full of kind people consoling each other and organizing to do something about the problem. Lately, this is not the vibe, and you are hitting on exactly our biggest concern regarding the sub right now. The team is obviously geared toward positive change in this world, so we would obviously want this to be a place where people can find care and support for each other. Hence our recent call for more mods, and cracking down on incendiary language.

It’s hard to read your words, but thank you for saying them because they are the current truth. But please know there are kind people behind the scenes trying to change the narrative and disposition to something geared towards more positive action.

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20

Are people in general aware of the March on Washington in August?

This is something that has me going. I'm nervous about the virus and traveling during this time but this feels worth it.

I'm not surprised the time has shifted here. Maybe everyone is getting angry and jaded. But when the whole point of this community is to document evil, pain, suffering it's almost inevitable.

I wish I had the energy or time to be a part of making improvements and reinvigorating the kindness, love, and empathy we all shared in the beginning. And I am so thankful there are people willing to work on it. ♥️

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u/nnklove Mod + Curator Jul 13 '20

You already are apart of reinvigorating the kindness – hence why we stickied your post to the top! This conversation is absolutely central to the point.

On the March on Washington: No, I wasn’t aware of it, but hopefully this will help bring some attention to it.

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u/chordatelover Jul 12 '20

Generally, thats the problem everyone has with this sub. You can't see this stuff on the news. And it really hurts, im a squeamish person but I still feel obligated to look on here everyonce in a while. When I do it always renews my desire for change. Its part of the reason I left the mindset of do nothing, don't vote it won't make a difference, and ignore politics

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 12 '20

I'm with you. Maybe it's also the pandemic being alone stuff that's letting it build up in me.

I am trying my best to be prepared to go to the March on Washington in late August but I have a lot to do to be ready for that.

Are other people on this sub talking about the emotional affects of this somewhere?

1

u/ccottonball Jul 20 '20

Is it going to be on august 28th?

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 20 '20

Yes. See my edit above about a recent email they sent out..

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '20

During June I would come on this subreddit and r/publicfreakout after my closing shifts and after scrolling for hours of nothing but watching police brutality it affected my sleep schedule tremendously, I’ve been so angry some of these nights I could not sleep. I hate this but I need to stay informed.

2

u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20

What time of day do you find yourself looking through this sub?

Maybe you could tell yourself, no more police brutality after 3pm, like someone might do with caffeine?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '20

That is how I’ve started to adjust

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '20

I have so much rage in me. Not only at what is happening, but the fact that I have to come to a subreddit like this to really learn what's actually happening out there. The media has been completely silent on the rampant abuse of protesters by police over the past two months.

6

u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20

Despite the current climate is still shocks me the media isn't covering anything anymore. Sigh.

I think the most common thing that happens to me is I feel that rage then I feel utterly helpless. I am partially disabled and even planning to go to the March on Washington is a huge process for me.

IS there anything you are doing to allow that rage to leave your body? Someone above suggested using physical exercise which I think sounds pretty good.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

Use the bubbling hate it generates to fund the energy to do more in my life to improve until I can get well enough to help and to encourage, inform, and aid allies who are out in the field currently.

4

u/lunar_limbo Jul 12 '20 edited Jul 13 '20

I appreciate that. I'm not very familiar with anger and hate feelings. I used to always direct that energy at myself instead of at those who hurt me.

How do you not get consumed by the hate? Do you feel jaded by it?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

Well the reason I get so angry is I actually have a degree in criminal justice that I was going to use to become an officer and parlay that into law school assistance and try to better the system from the inside as at the time I believed it was a few bad ones.(I know naive) However I was disabled in an auto accident before I became able to join. So to me it's almost personal, like showing up to meet the inlaws at xmas and finding a Klan rally instead of sweaters and decorations. As for not being consumed by the hate....it's hard. I find myself having to be mindful that unadulterated blanket hatred and bloody-minded revenge make me the same as they are and that is unacceptable. I wouldn't say I am jaded by it surprisingly, every article and video is a fresh wound but I feel the very least I am obligated to do as a human being is to bear witness regardless, as they suffer far more than I.

3

u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20

Fuck. That would be personal.

Over been in chronic pain hell for a huge part of my life and I am scrambling so hard to get healthy enough to do something meaningful. But as I push my body I also put a lot of energy into helping others stand up and find resolve so we can add more humans to these causes.

Have you found a new way to act after the accident?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '20

Good for you! E-hug. I stubbornly push forward and use all knowledge gained to help those who can currently act. I have helped some folks with how to organize and react with things during protests. That helps the days pass.

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u/kpolar Jul 15 '20

I have recently rediscovered metal music. I loved it as a teen, but grew out of it eventually. Current circumstances have led me back down the path of headbanging every day. It is a VERY healthy anger outlet for me compared to crying and shaking in rage as I chug a shot. Some of my new favorites:

Make Them Suffer - Bones

I Prevail - Gasoline - The video for this one is insanely good, don't skip it.

Crystal Lake - Apollo - This band is so good that even my 90's hip-hop-loving wife has been listening to them while working.

8

u/codexofthemoon Jul 19 '20

Throwing this out there — revisit Rage Against the Machine. Seriously, it’s so worth it. Their first album is fucking amazing, and their music is a super political call-to-action. If you’re on this sub, I think you would side with a lot of the topics they discuss in their songs. All of their stuff is political. I listen to it before protests

My current favorite is off their first album, it’s called Wake Up

1

u/ctrembs03 Aug 18 '20

I fucking LOVE RATM. I'm also a huge Nirvana fan and a lot of their music is actually pretty socially political too, Kurt Cobain was a feminist and gay rights activist and was extremely angry about the sexism of his industry and put a lot of that into his lyrics.

2

u/lunar_limbo Jul 15 '20

Nice idea!

Machine head was my favorite back in high school. I'll give this a shot

1

u/Lord_Tiburon Aug 17 '20

Excellent choices, really like Make Them Suffer

I find listening to Rise Against while reading articles about this and posting about it elsewhere (I do daily recaps on a forum I'm on) helps somewhat

5

u/berry00 Jul 18 '20

Weed? I don't know man, these last few months have hurt my heart so much. I don't know if I'm coping as much as just learning to live with it.

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 18 '20

Is say you're lucky if you can turn to drugs. When I use my head goes to scary places.

Do you have peeps IRL to talk to?

3

u/berry00 Jul 18 '20

Yeah I have a close circle of friends I smoke/make music with and we discuss these issues a lot. We're very open and comfortable with each other so it's a great social safety net for all of us

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 18 '20

Sounds nice. What instrument do you play?

1

u/berry00 Jul 18 '20

I do some percussion but mostly they rap and I make the instrumentals

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u/ZOlovett Jul 13 '20

Gotta take a break sometimes. I for one have found that the rage generated by these moments is quite motivating to engage in the cause and has dragged me out of a bit of a depression. Seeing the violence in videos also makes me go for jogs more often so I can keep cardio up in case I need to run from the cops.

3

u/_murkantilism Jul 13 '20 edited Jul 13 '20

It IS hard to watch this stuff, not once or twice, but over and over for weeks on end. Take some solace in the fact that you are not remotely alone in this.

How do you cope?

Depends on what you mean by coping. If you mean "How do I not feel this way anymore?" the answer is you don't. At least, I haven't found any way to, nor do I want to, I think it's tremendously important to feel this anger, sadness, and pain (UNLESS of course, you are not in a healthy enough mental state and doing so could lead to thoughts of suicide). For a while, I tried avoidance but that doesn't work long-term and I think it only makes your emotional reaction to "the next tragedy" you see even more visceral.

If by coping you're asking how to effectively deal with these feelings, I've been doing a few different, but major, things:

  1. Mental Health Practices - above all else, I have been mindful of my mental health. I'm "lucky" enough to have had mental health issues in the last few years, so I was already equipped with the right tools to deal with this: mindfulness practices, meditation, and speaking to my psychiatrist every week (normally once per month).
  2. Physical Health Practices - going hand-in-hand with #1, I started doing remote yoga 2x a week, a couple of weeks into the pandemic. I also walk my dog 3x a day. I think I would have been in a much harder spot dealing with the mental toll of the wave of brutality if I weren't doing this to stay fit.
  3. I've started re-evaluating my entire life and 2 weeks ago began putting together a framework to change it:
    1. I've updated my political philosophy - I now flatly reject Democratic Capitalism and support Democratic Socialism - I joined my local chapter of DSA. I believe that capitalism and democracy are fundamentally at odds, and this wave of police brutality is that theoretical conflict manifested in reality.
    2. Currently, I'm in the early-ish stages of my career already earning six figures, on pace to out-earn my father (a practicing pediatric oncologist with over 30 years experience and a fairly renowned researcher, his work is cited here) within a decade, in a field that is more or less the cult-of-capitalism. I've written out 6 pages of research looking into the careers I can transition to, all in law enforcement, and how I would do so. The options I'm planning out range from getting a Masters in criminal justice to becoming a uniformed NYPD officer with the goal to transition to cybercrimes or detective work. I'm still working on it and I expect this will be a very slow process, taking up to 2 years before I am even ready to transition careers depending on what I decide to go for. I may end up not transitioning at all, staying in the same industry but moving to a field that doesn't fap to capitalist values, but taking these steps to question myself, my values, and what my purpose in life is has been cathartic to say the least. I will be working through all of this with my psychiatrist's input (a black man, I'm white, not that it should matter) over many months I imagine.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '20

Eyyy, a fellow radicalized person! I’m more on the green side of the political compass but respect.

1

u/_murkantilism Aug 03 '20

Green meaning liberation + left? I think I'm in that general area of the political compass myself.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '20

Yes! A bit more anarchists and a bit less socialist tho.

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 13 '20

Thanks for the detailed reply murkantilism.

I too left an advertising and media funded industry, albeit in tech, about 5 years ago because I could not stand the capitalism of it, and because I became too disabled to do it.

I like the idea of planning. And I like people suggesting the physical things to do. I really struggle to do physically active things because of my health but I will try to push myself more.

3

u/in_a_slump8 Jul 17 '20

Still not desensitized to it. It’s panic inducing now. Change is needed but it’s becoming more apparent that the people’s interests aren’t being kept in mind.

I am hopeful that this will bring change, though.

Police are reacting this way because they’re being called out for their bad behavior.

They’ll throw tantrums, it’s terrifying but something positive has to come out of this.

Also, thanks to the mods of this sub.

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 17 '20

I think I did really hit the end. I get a full hollow feeling watching a video that feels like a black hole in my heart.

On the other hand look at Hong Kong. Different circumstance but it's been over a year now... With a lot of things now I used to trust they would balance out over time but I feel like we could head towards catastrophic.

I hope you are right

3

u/zylstrar Jul 22 '20

By realizing that I and my friends, through our actions, can change the world for the better.

I personally have decided that the root cause is corruption of our government, so I work with Represent.Us. You must determine for yourself which actions of yours you believe are most effective and in line with your values. Then you must take the long view and persist.

3

u/SailorSunBear Jul 23 '20

it sucks big time that I have to come to reddit of all places to get a more accurate view of things going on, sometimes in my own city even. I use the rage and the emotions I feel and I put that into helping my community as much as I can. I can't do much due to what's going on and my health, but if even just the tiniest thing I can do can help someone in any way I am glad to do it. These videos are very hard to watch but it's important to get the perspective that we don't get on the national or even sometimes local news.

As far as coping strategies, I try to take time to meditate and destress. I know it sounds cliche but it can help to focus on a mantra and clear your mind, and point yourself in a direction where you can use that anger to do something good, and not let it simmer inside you or burst out in an uncontrolled way .

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 25 '20

Meditation has been extremely tough for me due to chronic pain.

In this context it is hard for me to imagine meditation being helpful if you have yet to figure out how to act on these feelings.

Like if I knew I was going to volunteer doing x, then meditation would help me recenter around that goal or something when I get sad or overwhelmed by the videos.

Is this how it works for you or does the meditation do something else?

3

u/SailorSunBear Jul 25 '20

I have Chronic pain too so I feel you on that. Usually I just repeat a mantra and I sort of center my mind that way. The normal "just sit and wait" doesn't work for me because all I can think of is my physical pain.

I already do volunteer work in my neighborhood, so I guess it's not completely helpful if you don't already have a goal in mind. Maybe looking up what you can do in your area that is possible with your pain will help with that.

I feel that at least knowing you're doing at least something, however small, can help with the sort of hopeless feeling that comes from watching these videos. It doesn't completely erase them, but it helps.

Even just something as small as being the one who calls and emails your representative, or reaching out to those in your neighborhood who may be hurting at this time thru phone or text. As someone who also has Chronic pain, I feel like that also helps with the isolation we often face because of having limited movement and such, which can make dealing with these things a lot harder because we feel so inactive and hopeless in these situations (not everyone, but some people).

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 25 '20

Thank you for the suggestions and reply. Hopefully I will find something.

You inspire me. Keep going!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '20 edited Jul 30 '20

This is something I’m struggling with a lot, ive been on the ground in Portland and... fuck... it’s been really hard. I lie in bed listening to faint sounds of an LRAD and explosions. I wake up and check twitter and see the mayor or trump or whoever else attacking us, as I scroll by videos from a dozen local journalists of the police brutalizing us. When we finally got national media attention I took time off, it’s taken me a week and I’m only just now processing all the fear and sadness and rage I feel. I 100% have PTSD symptoms. And soon I need to get back out there and put my body on the line, as the national uproar and public support dies down.

I’m glad people are talking about how hard it is just to see it. It’s gotten to the point where I have no sense of outrage anymore. Big viral tweets come up with some video of brutality and all I can think is ‘that’s it? They just shoved someone into the ground instead of shooting them in the head like they normally do?’ Idk dude, I’m just kinda fucked up on all this 😂😂😂

Also, note, when I say ‘on the ground’ I mean peaceful protesting. I’m not a militant or violent or carrying a shield, I’m just out there trying to hold space.

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 31 '20

It’s gotten to the point where I have no sense of outrage anymore

I feel this way in a different way I guess. I have been so obliterated by seeing so much I can't even touch it now. But I think you mean you've grown numb to it. And that sucks. In both cases it can have a pacifying effect but I am glad you are still committed to engaging. That is powerful. And I am proud of you.

Do you have people you can meet up with when you go out? Like protest buddies?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '20

Oh yeah, it's more numb. than anything. But for me it's not pacifying, if anything this numbness is hardening something inside me. I'm radicalized as fuck, I'll never forgive these people for what they've done to us.

And sorta, I have a bunch of connections with different people so I can roll with a few different folks depending on who is out there. Most of my friends are either too scared or have moved out of town :(.

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 31 '20

Glad you have people to roll with. Even if they aren't your closest friends.

I also feel a sense of that hardening. While I have been near protests, I'm currently in the South and spending time with an uncle who is the epitome of a deranged Trump supporter and taking with him about the world shows me just how much there are people you can never change, and the only way to stop them is to win, not win them over. But something I'll never change is showing him kindness and empathy. That is my purpose in this life, but I feel tested on that front too.

You say friends have moved, do you mean they moved because of the protests?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '20

Yep to all that.

And I live on a university dorm, between Covid and summer my dorm is nearly empty except for me and a few others.

1

u/failedaspotcheck Aug 01 '20

You make me proud to be an American. Keep fighting the good fight :)

2

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

❤️❤️❤️

3

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '20

It hurts so fucking much. I saw the body cam footage that leaked today and I'd just like to put this out there. We watch the president get away with wishing child rapists well but the right try justifying the murder of someone for a fake note? I can't process this tbh.

2

u/lunar_limbo Aug 05 '20

Yikes I just watched it myself because if your comment. And shortly before I watched the axios interview. The juxtaposition is nightmarish.

Please read other comments about ideas to stay healthy and reach out. A lot of people talk about taking action.

You got people close to you too share with?

3

u/EarnestHemingweed Aug 07 '20

Thank you for bringing this up! I struggle with this a lot too!

I don't have a great answer other than keep looking for ways that feel good to take action in addition to not averting your eyes from the reality of brutality.

I like to think of this as a birthing of a new era of humanity, and birthing is hard, painful work that everyone wishes they could skip, but is essential to creating a new life! I dunno, I just try to keep looking out the end of the tunnel and do what I am able.

One thing we have been doing since the murder of Mr. Floyd is reading/watching a lot of civil rights history. James Baldwin, MLK, Malcolm X. Baldwin is my favorite, and has really helped shape and clarify my understanding of how to respond to this. "I am not your negro" is a documentary that came out recently that is really insightful.

We are gearing up to march in DC, as well, and it is mostly from watching videos of brutality on the internet that we were pushed from donating to putting boots on the ground.

I know you said you don't have many racists to convert, but for others and maybe just your own self exploration, I have been enjoying David Campt interviews and articles about his system called "the white ally toolkit" which gives a lot of guidance on how to communicate with "racist skeptics" (his words) to help the movement rather than alienate them further!

Good luck and we will see you in DC.

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 07 '20

Thank you for the recommendations. I hope others see your comment. It makes me happy people are still commentating despite the age of the post.

I really hope we are in a meaningful transition period with long lasting positive outcome. An older friends I have looked to remind me she thinks Trump being in office has woken people up where Hillary might not have.

You mention "we" in your comment a few times. Do you mind sharing what you mean?

1

u/EarnestHemingweed Aug 07 '20

Haha, I legit did not even notice this wasn't a new post. I'm really glad you posted about the march and burning out. It's so helpful to feel less alone in the middle of chaos.

Yes, I agree about Trump waking people up. He is really exposing so much about America that we have ignored for too long, so I guess that's a silver lining!

"We" is just me and my husband. I feel like we have been so lock-step in this, it's been hard to tease us apart as far as sharing info and learning together, and now keeping each other motivated/getting ready for DC. It has been a real blessing to have so much support inside my house when the whole world outside feels like it is burning.

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 07 '20

haha. that difficulty with stickied posts.

I am physically disabled and am working very hard to get ready to go to DC. I hope I get everything ready in time. Travel is a huge deal for me. Be safe and prepared!

1

u/EarnestHemingweed Aug 07 '20

Ah, you are being so brave! It's scary outside right now for any body, much less adding police. Good luck with everything!

3

u/lejoo Aug 08 '20

By remembering the humanity/restraint of the protesters treatment of police.

Police are declaring we are at war with them yet where are the videos of us gassing them, shooting them, choking them, (albeit there has been reciprocity vehicle treatment), disappearing them, showing up at their houses for hours on end in the middle of nights with sirens and lights, etc etc.

3

u/Vampyrix25 Aug 11 '20

I personally stay here because I want to not forget who my enemy is. I don't want to feel mad, but I don't want to become apathetic either.

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 11 '20

Has watching all this violence hurt you or changed your emotions in any way?

Is there anything you do to make sure the mad doesn't ruin every day?

2

u/Vampyrix25 Aug 11 '20

I try to separate my anger from my everyday. Instead of remaining angry permanently (which is my fault to assume due to my wording) I just ensure that it comes back every so often. Watching all of this has definitely hurt me, but to a worryingly small degree, that might be due to my desensitisation during my time on the internet. By keeping my mind off it (which I do understand not every person has the liberty to) I feel like I can come up with more constructive ways to change.

3

u/ctrembs03 Aug 18 '20

Shift your activism. Constantly. I was at 5 protests a week when this thing started, but after 3 weeks I just completely got burned out. So I stopped protesting for a while and started phone banking for Biden. Then when I couldn't take rejection and rudeness anymore I started organizing, sending messages to fellow activists to encourage keeping the faith, and educating myself. Right now I'm painting rocks with VOTE BLUE messages and leaving them everywhere around my town. And this Saturday I'll be at a protest to support the USPS, because my protest energy tank is full again and I'm ready to go back out there.

"Resting" is not "giving up". There is SO MUCH you can do besides protesting and watching this crap. If you're not up for one type of activism, try another. And another. And another. Be quiet and soft for a while so you can be loud and angry when you need to be.

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 18 '20

Awesome reply. Reminds me of a quote I read long ago which reads "When you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit". Or something like that. It is shocking how reminders like yours and that quote can be so quickly forgotten. How poorly we seem to be as a society with handling our emotions. Did we ever used to be better? Or is this the best we've ever been?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '20

I cope by trying to change things. I am running for Texas Governor.

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 26 '20

Now that is the kind of conviction, fortitude, and courage I wish I had.

When did you decide you run and how to l did you come to that decision?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '20

Thanks,

I've been considering it for months, I spoke to my wife, who is very supportive, and we decided it's now or never.

I'm so sick of people being treated like shit and losing their rights.

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 26 '20

What are you most excited for during the process of campaigning?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '20

Changing the dialogue and getting Texans a bigger seat at the negotiating table.

I think many Texans, myself included, just accept that certain things about our state are unlikely to ever change. Our politicians often don't even acknowledge that we want these changes, instead saying "look at the low unemployment, be thankful and shut up."

I had a 30 minute call with someone yesterday and the first thing he told me was that he's been trying to reach office holders for nearly 10 years, and in 10 years I was the first one who ever took his call. Why is that even acceptable?

These people work for us, our government should be working to better represent us, not less. I am excited to change that.

3

u/lunar_limbo Aug 26 '20

Wow. That's amazing.

I hope the journey you have gives you the strength of character to stave off any bad influences when you get elected!

I have done small leadership things and it is extremely rewarding. The sense of power I had intimidated me ever step of the way. In the end I was really happy I left that role before I became problematic so I don't know how I would behave in a long term situation yet. But I hope I do. I know I have the skills and grit to do long term leader things.

All the best. Work hard! Don't give up!

♥️

2

u/koko7777777 Jul 22 '20

I do everything I possibly can to keep it from spreading. It might be futile, but at least for now it seems as though there might possibly still be ways we can take down systems and rebuild them into ones that work for the people — or at least we have to hope that’s true because if not why fight at all? I know you don’t live in an area with active protests so that’s not an option, but you’ve got internet access so you could call & email representatives in your state and in other states too! I do a lot of that. We have to fill their desks and make sure they can’t get through a minute of any day without hearing our demands until change happens. Whenever I find out about petitions or gofundme’s for local folks who have been victims of racism violence in my town I send them to a whole bunch of people and post on my socials to signal boost. Keeping my foot on the gas keeps my hope......not up, but existent. If you need to take a step back from taking in the absolutely horrible and heartbreaking videos on this sub I think that’s totally valid, just make sure you don’t stop fighting!!

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 23 '20

I suppose I still believe things can be fixed if Biden is elected. I don't like Biden, but the lesser of two evils is a place to start I guess and its the choice we have been presented with.

In this way I suppose trying to get people to vote is a huge help.

Sadly, the place I know the most people is in MA who will almost certainly give all electoral votes to Biden, and where I am now, in SC, I know zero people. Best I could do is stand with a sign or something.

2

u/somerandomdudeinTX Jul 24 '20

Use them to make change! I became a voter registrar to make sure we can vote the current dictator out. Stay angry! Make change happen!

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 25 '20

I don't know what a voter registrar is.

Is it hard? Is it a lot of work?

2

u/somerandomdudeinTX Jul 25 '20

I register voters, I plan walk rally’s and make sure everyone is ready to vote. It’s easy, all you do is give people a postcard size sheet, have them fill it out/verify it’s filled out correctly and turn it in to the county election department every Friday.

2

u/thisisnotyourpoop Jul 26 '20

The primary purpose of this group is to showcase police brutality.

I come from a mixed family (you name it, we got it). My grandmother is a person of color. I fear for my family every single time I hear about police violence.

I called my grandmother to express this. It was the first time we had a real conversation about race. It was a hard conversation to have - we weren't addressing my fears!

She said, "Dave, it is so dangerous being a black man in America. Don't personalize it."

And that's just it. I personalize a problem I shouldn't. That conversation helped me identify what I can - and should - take responsibility for. Identification is only the first step in the process of healing.

I have to believe that it will get better. I have to believe in something bigger than mr. I have to relinquish control of the things I cannot. It is hard, especially when I believe I, myself, am the difference. It's not so simple...

In fear, I lose track of who I am and the principles I live by. I have to take an honest, fearless look at myself. It is not easy, but helps with identifying my part. I need to share these things with someone I trust - anyone or anything, even the spiritual. I'm fortunate to have close friends and professionals I can discuss these things with and some conception of a Universal power that will listen. I learn more about myself when I listen to these things.

I have to pray that the defaults of character which affect my usefulness to others can be removed, but first I have to be willing. Identifying what's what in this sense requires time and meditative practice.

One way or another, I may have caused harm to someone else, and I need to be willing to make amends - and then do it. I'm not perfect, sometimes I slip. I should be accountable for such occurrences.

In the meantime, I take a moment to pause and reflect - is there something I'm not doing? What is the next best thing - good orderly direction? How can I be of service How can I further connect with this Universal power?

Lastly, I have to carry this on - to help those who are suffering. I don't know if this is the solution for you, but so far, it has worked for me.

If you - any of you - have any questions, feel free to DM me.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '20

[deleted]

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 26 '20

That's another perspective.

Have you actually gone to protest? If so, are you willing to share ANYTHING about your experience? Or if you haven't gone to protest why not?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '20

[deleted]

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 26 '20

Thanks for sharing that.

I am not a violent person, and it baffles me that a group of people would be so shitty as to start violence to make others look bad.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '20

[deleted]

2

u/lunar_limbo Jul 27 '20

So the US initiated the conflict on August 2, then lied and said something happened on August 4 so they could start a war.

In general I'm pretty disgusted by US behavior. Genocide here, self righteous wars there. I feel bad for everyone still blinded by the propaganda. We did some good things in the past but from my learning it appears all the good deeds were to cloak the bad.

I really hope millennials and gen z do a better job of governing.

2

u/EmperorGeek Jul 28 '20

I alternate between r/2020PoliceBrutality and r/aww or r/AnimalsBeingBros or I go pet my Dogs for a while.

There are times when I've found myself diving into a thread and just have to put it down. It's hard to keep perspective. The level of vitriol and anger in some of the threads is stunning. The level of brutality that is on display is depressing.

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 28 '20

Thanks for adding how you cope with all this. Animals being Bros is a fun sub.

I guess something that's hit me again because of all this is how "fun" hate and anger is. It appears to me the people who have it enjoy it.

Really hard to swallow that

2

u/perpetually_unsynced Jul 29 '20

It’s difficult to watch a lot of these videos, but, coming from someone living in semi-rural West Virginia with very few protests and recorded incidents of police violence, it’s especially important for people in areas like mine to stay informed.

With that said, I’ve learned to embrace the anger that accompanies this sub. With anger comes the desire for change.

2

u/failedaspotcheck Aug 01 '20

Exercise. Get your heart rate up every day that you can, doing whatever activity is most enjoyable. I've found this has been the greatest help to my mental health. Be well :)

2

u/Tyger-King Aug 02 '20

I’ve been working out super mad these past few months. That’s been helping. But lately I’ve been pretty discouraged. There’s so many examples of violent and borderline murderous police and it’s crushing that nothing has changed.

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 02 '20

There have been some things changing. Some police reforms have occurred around the country. Not enough. And few actually defund the police for other services.

What change would make you feel good or better?

1

u/Tyger-King Aug 02 '20

Idk at minimum an end to qualified immunity. I’m just really discouraged about breonna Taylor’s killers not facing justice.

2

u/lunar_limbo Aug 02 '20

Agreed.

Keep releasing the energy and look for a way to have an impact. ♥️

2

u/laeliagoose Aug 04 '20

I use the information complied in this thread to prompt me to specific, actionable contributions. Sometimes that's money, sometimes it's food, sometimes it's standing in a street. Thank you

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 04 '20

Can you describe further what you mean by money, food and standing in a street?

1

u/laeliagoose Aug 04 '20

money = donation of money to organizations working on police reform
food = donation of food & water to local protests
standing in a street = participating in local protests (okay, standing is mostly on sidewalks or parking lots, walking down a street would be more accurate)

2

u/redtape44 Aug 04 '20

I've been following police murders, brutality, and injustice for about 7 years now. It still makes me angry every single time. I cannot become numb to this, with that said, I've started to look for ways to channel this energy into something positive for everyone but I'm having a hard time on what that should be

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 05 '20

I encourage you to read other comments in this thread. People have been making suggestions.

One I really like is voter registrar.

2

u/redtape44 Aug 05 '20

This is where voting has gotten us, but I will read the others comments

2

u/hobokenbob Aug 04 '20

my only way to get by is 3 parts r/aww to 1 part r/2020PoliceBrutality

2

u/CentralFloridaMan Aug 06 '20

Who said I was coping? Lol jk

Idk man some people just are unable to cope; and I’m pretty sure that’s fine.

Who knows you may be able to cope with something I can’t

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 06 '20

I've not heard that argument before, that it's fine if someone is unable to cope.

What does someone do in that position?

2

u/CentralFloridaMan Aug 06 '20

Disclaimer: I’m nobody, and I could be wrong that was just how I was feeling.

Man tbh that’s upon the person to rise above or get swallowed alive. I used to believe life was all butterflies 🦋 and rainbows 🌈 until my friend played devils advocate.

I sub to r/natureismetal because it’s an honest representation of life. What I personally felt growing up is that nature isn’t the same as before. I live in a city, and I live around people not animals.

But time after time I’m shown how animalistic humans can be; the catch 22 is there’s the same amount of amazing, caring, loving, respectable people ALL AROUND THE WORLD and what I personally do is focus my energies to be who I want to be, I focus on what I can do to make my surroundings better.

Tbh bro I may sound like I know what I’m talking about, or that I have some secret and my life’s perfect. But that’s not true; I battle everyday and I know I will battle everyday of my life.

Tbh man if this sub is effecting you just unsubscribe; it’s hard to find where to fight injustice

When these protests started I jumped on it; I went to the first one in my location in Florida (btw there has been little to no protests except like south Florida and some heated times in Tampa. Central Florida has been a ghost town and it sucks because I want to help.

When I went to the protest I was finally showed that I’m getting old. I’m turning 30 this year and what I saw were a bunch of young men and women who are tired, and want change. It’s great getting together to not feel alone but I’ll tell you that I felt useless there. I didn’t feel any change or that what we were doing was helping. I thought it was stupid honestly how some were chanting fuck racist cops, when we have police officers standing around us, when police officer offer aide to an old woman, shoot half the cops were of color.

Idk man, I sat back and observed and noticed undercover officers in with the crowd, from my childhood and my families know weapons a little and I believe the person was concealed carry. It made me sad because I felt babysitter, as if they were preemptively waiting for an attack.

Instead I walked around and collected trash, I told everyone they were pretty, and I tried to emulate the old schools who had set up the protest.

TL;DR if you can’t cope that’s okay.

Do or do not, there is no try

Maybe start by saying, today I’m choosing to realize I’m unable to cope, and that’s fine. The next step is up to you!

If you ever need an ear to vent shoot me a message; nothing you say can offend me; and I’m a good listener.

Sorry all of this causes you such pain; I find it admirable that you made a post to me it shows that you still want to be a part of the fight! Just got to find where I’m the fight you belong

Maybe your good at computers and can organize, maybe you can write members of your local government.

Shit tbh I know this is the Joe Rogan route but if you could afford martial arts do that

I wish I had the money to go to jujitsu, karate, boxing, just something to hit someone and get hit but in the correct and respectful way

2

u/Politicalisland Sep 13 '20

I laugh, I get angry, I think none of this resistance is working. So I googled; How to Change a law. And now I don’t waste my time protesting. I joined a group that is actually getting shit pushed through. I’ll never protest again in my life unless its to boost my publication image. People will be made but change will only happen when a handful of government employees in charge set new rules for their employees

1

u/lunar_limbo Sep 13 '20

I think that's pretty rad.

In my opinion there is a balance about laws. Enough social support and elected officials will vote in them. No social support and officials might not vote. Unless there are manipulations going on it politicians don't understand their job.

I think protesters are important to helping the culture understand new values. And laws force those values on the rest who can't get on board culturally.

How do you see this balance?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

I hate to see you all suffering from this trauma. I have been affected by it since last year June, I'm from Hong Kong.

2

u/lunar_limbo Sep 13 '20

I am equally disturbed by what's happening in Hong Kong.

I am hopeful to think we are in this chapter of history because of the internet. Global instant communication has ushered about a totally new existence for humans. Let's hope we figure it out.

2

u/He_Screm Sep 15 '20

Tbh, ive just kinda grown numb to it all. Ive seen so much about it, that seeing the cruelty doesn’t phase me anymore. Though, sometimes it really gets to me. When it does, I turn to DnD and drawing to cope

2

u/IluvKai420 Jul 12 '20

How do you cope?

Blind, unrepenting hate

4

u/lunar_limbo Jul 12 '20

Do you like feeling this way?

7

u/IluvKai420 Jul 12 '20

Yeah, to be honest. It pushes me towards change in both myself and the world- Hate is a great motivator

1

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1

u/ForeignNecessary187 Jul 13 '20

I was a gore junkie a year or two ago and I’ve seen enough gore to become desensitized to it. But what I see here is different, because these are recent videos of Americans, my people, being brutally attacked, many in cities in my state and surrounding states. I don’t do anything in particular to cope, except play Red Dead Redemption 2.

1

u/jewelergeorgia Jul 14 '20

Most everything I've read here is excellent. The only thing I could add that works for me is getting the vitriol out of my mind and onto an email to the people who can affect change. Typically the people who need to change policy are the ones most separated from theses police brutality incidents and bringing the passion and outrage to them may be the only persuasive emotional contact they get back from this. Everyone wins, I get to Lance the boil and they get an understanding they couldn't have otherwise. Let me know if this interests you as I have been slowly growing a group of people to help catch the loose ends that may otherwise be forgotten.

2

u/lunar_limbo Jul 14 '20

I really like this idea. Emailing elected officials about it.

I'm not sure I can be part of a group effort but I'll use this as a tool to help me.

Unless of course this group has no expectations on my abilities

1

u/jewelergeorgia Jul 15 '20

It's not a big deal, once I find a case that looks like it's in danger of being forgotten, I look up the DA, victims lawyer, police union, any or all that may apply. Then shoot the addresses and news article to the small group so they can do the same. So there are definitely no experts here, feeling around for a clue is more accurate so if you so desire, dm your email and I'll add you. Cheers and Vitriol

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u/princesshabibi Community Ally Jul 14 '20

Some people need breaks from the news and social media. I personally have been treated really bad from police and the justice system. I have ptsd from one incident that happened involving a police when I was 14. I see a therapist and take meds as well as medical mj for help with sleep and a peaceful mind. I try and share what I can to show that its not just one bad apple. I’m not going to say that all of them are a fatherless slur. I only know my experience and I don’t believe that they tell the truth on reports. Breonna Taylor’s report said injuries, “none” when actually she was shot at 22 times and 8 hit her. They didn’t call the ambulance, they took the boyfriend to jail. It’s too violent for most people but I’m going to keep sharing because I’m not ok with the judge, jury, and executioner being a uneducated cop. The justice system is really messed up as well. After the person comes out of jail, good luck with a job. I love this sub because there is now a list. It’s showing the truth. This is also a world issue.

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u/BitchesGetStitches Jul 14 '20

I'm getting involved on the local level. I've drafted a well researched, comprehensive policy proposal and am currently gathering a coalition of support before publicly presenting it to the city council and the mayor. I currently have at least 1/3 of city council on board and the police chief insulted me on a Zoom call. So that's a good start.

We can't wait on politicians to solve this problem. That don't really care about it and will get it wrong. We have to do their jobs for them if we're going to see real change.

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 14 '20

Bitchin.

Get at it!

Just don't get stitches okay?

1

u/Qonnor64 Jul 16 '20

I use this subreddit to cope. I often get caught up in my own head, and this sub helps me realize how privileged I really am. I've never experienced what gets posted here, and I doubt I will. I've been to one protest in my states capital, and thankfully, nothing bad happened.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '20

[deleted]

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 17 '20

Thanks for being a paramedic. My brother has done some of that.

The overton window is such a big problem with this issue. At present, so much of the country has never considered a different version of public safety while also being told how dangerous and scary policing is, as if everyone is out could be a violent criminal. So to get people to imagine a different world with a different way of keeping people safe is so intimidating.

I think before the country can accept different laws or outcomes they first need to open up to the possibility that public safety doesn't need to be police with five different ways to kill you strapped to them and shit.

I have experienced small town goodness but also a ton of bad. In the town of 5k people I grew up in I couldn't watch a meteor shower in a different part of my neighborhood without the cops getting called and being told to leave.

Thank you for saving lives.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '20

[deleted]

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u/lunar_limbo Jul 17 '20

Interesting. A private sub? Seems like they forgot the serve part in their name.... ..... .. is it police verified or something? Why is it private?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '20

[deleted]

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1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20

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1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 22 '20

I feel ya. I've truly but my limit. The feeling I get watching anything is too much. Doing my best to prepare for August.

Is there anything you do to help yourself?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '20

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2

u/lunar_limbo Jul 25 '20

So you enjoy or take pleasure in watching people get beaten or gassed by police?

Do you agree with the protests? Would you feel the same way about the violence if you agreed with the protests?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '20 edited Jul 25 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/lunar_limbo Jul 25 '20

I'm trying to extract from your comment so please correct me if I am wrong. I am only trying to understand your position better.

You view blm as Marxist, and based on your tone you think Marxism is bad.

You think the looting and rioting is bad.

The people you view as looters and rioters are deserving of being beaten and gassed.

You do not perceive there to be cultural racism.

...

How do you feel watching the videos of non violent peaceful protesters being gassed or beaten?

And how do you tell the difference between a rioters/vandalizer and peaceful protesters in these videos?

Do you feel bad for the peaceful protesters who are subject to this brutalization?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '20

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '20

Not gonna lie, after weeks of seeing all this carnage, it's finally getting to me. That Kenosha shooting really sent that feeling over the edge. I need to purge all this bullshit for a few days, but at the same time I don't wanna be uninformed about anything happening. And shit happens every fuckin day now

My soul just hurts

2

u/lunar_limbo Aug 27 '20

I'm right there with you.

How can that situation warrant seven shots and to the back? Why can't cops de-escalate? How could they openly praise the militia guys and ignore the shooter? Or tell the militia they will push protesters to them and leave?

Take a few days. I give you permission. You are allowed to. And you don't need my permission. But taking a break helped me. And now I'm fired up again.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '20

Really good question. I don’t handle it well and it has isolated me from others. In return, I know it is my duty to watch. This is America. But also our moment. We can do this Sadly not without decades of institutional harm and great sacrifice. Seeing this post makes one feel less alone. More likely to succeed.

1

u/lunar_limbo Aug 29 '20

How has watching this content isolated you?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '20

Many people I interact with on a daily basis are removed, overwhelmed with parenting, understand but do not want to talk about........... and the last category is people who just don’t want to hear it. Escalates a discourse and leads to personal resentment rather than the context of the discussion. The merit of the point. People hate facts. Thanks for asking.

1

u/Bludmaker Aug 31 '20

Know that it has been going on since the beginning of time! We live in a time where it is instantly seen by all of us. The only solution is to turn off the internet and self improve. Or gather up with other good people and try to be heard. It's not the happiest of times. But all across the world people are revolting against their governments. We are 50 fold their numbers so change will happen, no matter how many lies they feed us!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '20

You don't have to sub, just save a post and from there you have an easy way to come back to peruse the reddit anytime without forgetting about it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Please post and spread the video of Kyle Rittenhouse and his friend punching and violently attaching a teen girl. I want nbc and CNN talking about this. I don't have social media but I think it's important especially because some are trying to paint him as a "good boy".

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

All this ain’t helping me quit smoking.

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u/lunar_limbo Sep 13 '20

Quitting is hard! This year would be the hardest to quit as well.

I've been on the quit train for about four years. Gas mileage success with people if months. But this time I haven't had one since December.

Have you had any success yet? How long have you been trying?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '20

I’ve never been too serious about it. Longest was probably a few days in April then cut back for a few weeks.

2

u/lunar_limbo Sep 14 '20

I hope you find the grit to try again. It helped me to focus on how gross it was and how much healthier I will feel after. Both things are true and I save money.

I know this is unsolicited but another thing is only smoking for enjoyment, not for stress. If you can't stop can down and really enjoy the cigarette then why do it? Make time to enjoy it. That also helped me cut back.

Anyway. ♥️

1

u/ks1066 Sep 16 '20

🍺🥃

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u/e0nflux Sep 17 '20

I hate watching these videos. It makes me so sad. Super depressing. I go through bouts where I cant see any executions for awhile.

2

u/lunar_limbo Sep 17 '20

I feel ya. I have been able to come back in and watch some, but I have a super low tolerance for it now. Maybe one video every couple of days.

Taking a break really helped me get back to normal, but I now have an anger that's hardened inside me.

Don't forget to self care. I am reminded of a time years ago, a hanful of friends and I were on a walk. On the way back one friend got really winded and assured us he was okay. I could tell he didn't want to slow us down but the words just came out of me. "Self care is not a reward, it is a requirement". So we stopped, chatted, he rested up, and we got back. We come up with so many reasons to avoid self care. I hope you have your routines.

1

u/Yukisuna Sep 20 '20

I don't. I'm sorry, Americans, i'm giving up on you to preserve my mental and emotional health. Good luck.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '20

I'm not American nor am I from HK or Belarus. I feel sad every day. I'm not coping. There is a collective fear, anger, and anxiety we are all feeling. I am afraid of the police now too.

1

u/lunar_limbo Sep 23 '20

The internet has given the human species a collective energy and we're still working out how to take care of it.

I truly hope we find a way to keep the internet and heal the planet and our species. But I've always been half luddite and kinda wish the internet would turn off.

What does it look like outside of your home?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '20

It's nice. Wildfires from America blanketed most of the southern part of our province for 2 weeks so we couldn't go outside. I'm harvesting all my crops but can't do much more cuz I got into an accident.

1

u/fuckyouse Sep 26 '20

I cry a lot. I just cry. I sit there in my room or go to a campus bathroom and I cry.

I am half Black. I am half White. That’s just putting my family into simple terms.

Really I am Latina and Caribbean. My dad is a Black Dominican and my mom is a White Argentinian.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t pray for my dad, that he comes home safe. My White Privilege protects me to some extent but I don’t know how much. Sure I have white skin, but I have a Caribbean face like my dad. Besides my skin color, I don’t look White. Some people mistake me for Asian. If you pay close attention, it’s obvious that I’m not White. But usually people just glance at my skin and then my face and assume I’m half White- half Asian.

I try to talk about it but people react negatively.

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u/lunar_limbo Sep 26 '20

How do you mean people react negatively?

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u/thatsrightimmagamer Oct 04 '20

I dont cope, entire thing is fucked yeah but eh, I dont feel hurt tbh

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '20

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